My dearest one,
You may think that we met not too long ago, but I have watched you for a very long time. All the love they poured into you made me alive, for I am its continuation, just in a different way. I sat quietly, waiting at the edge of every laughter you ever shared, every warmth you held close. Because where there is love, there is always the promise of my arrival.
You may not remember me as the way I am now, but I was once what you longed for and having received me from your loved ones made your heart full to the brim.聽
They say love is like seeing the stars in the darkest nights, even when the sky is so cloudy that it hides the gentle glow of the moon. Yet, there it is, shining brightest among the inks that stains the sky. Like a warm hug that doesn鈥檛 seem to fade away. Like home.聽
But they also say love is a tragedy, capable of inflicting wounds that cut deep into the fabrics of one鈥檚 well-being.聽
It has been a while since I鈥檝e changed form. The way you see me now has changed as well, you do not see me as I am, only as the ache that pierced your heart as if there was an invincible splinter you cannot remove the moment your world changed.聽
When I first touched you, I knew it felt like time had stopped. You blinked and suddenly everything felt unfamiliar, the living room was too quiet, mornings were dull. Everything that once held meaning now trembled like glass under your fingertips.聽
聽As the world continued its rhythm, you stayed behind. Life moved on too fast, and there you were, moving slowly each day in your sea of thought, trying to convince yourself that it wasn鈥檛 true.聽聽
You didn鈥檛 see me then, but you felt my presence. The heaviness in your lungs as each breath became harder to take. That was me.聽
You didn鈥檛 want me there.
聽You hated me for stealing what could not be returned.聽
You tried to drown me in distraction, pushing me away by denying reality.聽
But I stayed, not to anchor you in pain, but to hold tight the pieces of love that were slipping away too fast, the pieces that your heart can no longer bear to touch. Until you can remember without breaking.
Still, I know.聽 I have been cruel, haven鈥檛 I?聽
I made you feel so small, so fragile, so much that you felt like you would lose yourself to the present. You had so much left to say, yet time was cut too short.聽
There was a time where you felt awkward to show affection, but now you鈥檝e reverted into a child who only knows them as your whole world.聽
I made you believe you were frozen while everyone else kept moving. You saw people smile again and wondered if you ever would.
You will.
But not by forgetting.
Not by leaving me behind.
You think healing means letting me go, but healing is learning to live beside me. I am not here to drag you into the depths of your mind. I am here to remind you that love once bloomed fervently in your soul even if you don鈥檛 love loudly anymore.
That love did not disappear, it only becomes quieter, humbler, only to be heard under your breath.聽
One day, you will notice how I don鈥檛 arrive as often. You鈥檒l realize I鈥檝e become quieter, a soft pulse instead of a storm.
聽I will still be beside you as you laugh again and whisper reminders of the love that was left, the sound of their voice, the smell of their room and even the way they lit up the world just by being in it.
You鈥檒l begin to see the world not as what you lost, but as what you still have.
And though I will fade, I will never leave entirely. I am love鈥檚 proof, the living evidence that something once mattered enough to wound you.聽
When you miss them, that鈥檚 me breathing beside you. When your chest tightens at a familiar scent, that鈥檚 me too, not to make you cry, but to say: It happened. You loved. It was real.聽
You鈥檒l think of them, and instead of pain you鈥檒l feel gratitude.聽
鈥�Thank you for loving me once.鈥�
I鈥檒l be proud when that day comes. Because my purpose has been fulfilled. Not in your sorrow but choosing to live despite me being here.
When you move forward, you鈥檙e not leaving them behind.聽
But carrying them in every joy you let in.聽
Showing them who you are today, still standing despite everything. You are proof that love does not die. It simply changes its shape, just like me.
You were never meant to stay still with me.
You were meant to grow around me, to outgrow the silence, to teach the heart how to hold both sorrow and sunlight at once.聽
I will be beside you on your journey, but I will stay behind when you begin to run.
Until then, let us walk slowly, gently. You and I.
With love,
Grief